


We All Need Something

by STUMPEDD



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fight me tho it's gr9, Fluff, I made this so cute, Like all fluff, M/M, They fought a war tho, but like for five seconds each chapter and then its fluff, some angst kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 00:11:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8689033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STUMPEDD/pseuds/STUMPEDD
Summary: War is tough, but life after is even harder. Existing without fearing of being shot at every turn is something strange to veterans. In attempt to cope, they find something or someone to latch onto and keep close. John found his in a man he’d once shot without a moment’s hesitation.Alexander found his in a man he’d never admit to enjoying the company of.Hercules found his in the sad eyes of a divorced man.Lafayette found his in the most beautiful woman of all.





	1. John

John slept around. Every other night he was in someone else's bed, covered in hickeys and bitemarks. He left early morning and went home. He drank, cursed his unusually high tolerance level, and kept drinking. He rarely slept and if he did it’s because someone barged into his apartment and forced him to. His friends would leave him and he'd cry. He'd walk to his job at a local club, and since no one was there during the day he would hide in the back on his phone. Night would come and he'd serve a cute guy drinks, flirting and ending his shift early. The cycle went like that day in and day out. Nothing really changed. The only things that did were who he fucked and who made him go to bed. Sometimes he'd get a call from his mom. He never answered though. Just seeing her contact was enough to make John subconsciously run a finger along the scar on his cheek. He questioned his sanity and existence every minute he could. What if that bullet hadn't missed him. What if he died on that South Carolina battlefield. Sure his friends would be sad but they'd move on. They'd be fine without him. Content to live their lives. 

 

John felt a catch in his throat at the thoughts. He shouldn't be like this. In the war he was the toughest of his troops. He even challenged General Charles Lee to a duel and shot him with no hesitation. No second thought. His own ally, injured by John’s hand. Now he was a mess. Hesitating to open a damn door to his job. “Pull yourself together. You are a war hero with a kid,” he felt tears forming, “a kid who's with her mother in London. A kid who doesn't know your fucking name.” He shoved the door open, ignoring his co- workers and heading straight to check in. He thought he was safe but of course he chose the day to come in early that happened to be the day his boss actually showed up.

 

“John, I've gotta discuss tonight with you,” Adams said in a stern tone. John turned and nodded for his boss to continue. “Washington told me he's sending a former member of your troop here to discuss my transfer to D.C. Says you aren't to engage with him.”

 

John cocked his head. “I knew like six people in that troop and three were my friends. Who is heading up and why should I avoid him?” He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, right leg bending back against the wall to give him extra support.

 

“I don't know him but the name I was given was Charles Lee. Ring a bell?”

 

John’s eyes widened. Charles Lee. The man John had shot. The reason he woke up to that gunshot ringing in his ear. John glared at Adams. “I think it's best I just don't work today at all. Lee and I haven't ever gotten along, trust me.”

 

Adams shook his head. “You and Maria are all I’ve got tonight. You're here from now until Lee leaves, got it?” John opened his mouth respond but Adams cut him off. “No buts. You are here and you can leave the second Lee does. Am I clear?”

 

John huffed. “Crystal. Now can I go have a drink?”

 

“No because you'll find someone and run off before I allow you. No drinking anything but water until Lee leaves. Got it?”

 

John pulled out his phone and nodded. “Understood.” He knew exactly how to get around this this minor deal. Sure it would be embarrassing and he'd regret it, but it would sure as hell be a fun story. He texted his plan to Hercules and Lafayette. He considered sending it to Alex but John knew the man would be busy as the treasury secretary. Too busy to care about John as usual. John shut off his phone as Herc and Lafayette sent text after text. After all, John had to get ready for his shift.

 

\--

 

The music was loud, the people were loud, and the clinking of glasses was loud. John hated this. He'd watched Lee enter and speak to Adams in a back room and an hour had gone by and neither men had come out. It was distracting and John had gotten yelled at more times than he'd actually served a drink. It was aggravating and he knew if Lee didn't exit that room soon, John was going to end up ignoring Adams and finding someone to enjoy himself with. Just as he was about to yank a bottle of Sam Adams from his not-so-secret stash, he heard Lee walking back into the main floor. He was saying goodbye to Adams and John put his head in his hands, praying Lee would go away so John could go home and sleep. “Well well if it isn't Mr. Laurens. How’ve you been?” Lee’s voice was unmistakeable and John sighed.

 

He took a deep breath and ran his plan through his head. He approached the bar stand where Lee stood, propping himself up on his elbows. “Fan-fucking-tastic. How's the hip?” He was grinning smugly. After all, he was the one who challenged and shot Lee.

 

Lee snorted and rolled his eyes sarcastically. “You're proud of that aren't ya?” 

 

John nodded. “Only thing I've got to be proud of. Now what do you want to drink.”

 

“Anything you want me to. I mean you're the bartender right?” John laughed at that and grabbed some vodka and a Sam Adams, mixing the two. “Now I’d love it if you would accompany me in the very empty break room. Saw it on my way down that hall and honestly I’d hate it if you were left here to suffer.” Lee grabbed the small glass and leaned against the counter in a manner as if he were teasing John. Begging him to go to the back. John looked over to where Maria was. He watched her serving drinks left and right, clearly capable of handling this herself. He drummed his fingers for a moment before nodding at Lee. “Atta boy,” Lee said with a sly wink before sliding away to the hall where the break room was, running his plan through his head. Get the man drunk and use anything he says as blackmail. It was low but it would be the most fun John would have in a while.

 

They sat down at a table in the room, Lee propping his feet up. John tried remaining calm. “So what exactly did you want me here for? You hate me or whatever.” He absent-mindedly twirled his bottle in his fingers, avoiding gazes with Lee.

 

“I’m not sure. I was warned by Washington to avoid you. I kept to my usual track record and ignored him. Besides, when did I ever say I hated you?” Lee was smiling shyly, his gaze flickering from John to the ground.

 

John looked up curiously. “I-what? You accepted a duel from me. You talked shit about me every chance you got. You smashed my tent. You must hate me. Even at least a little bit.”

 

Lee laughed a little. “That doesn’t mean anything. I was younger and going through shit. Back then don’t ask, don’t tell was still intact remember?” A light pink blush lightly tinged his cheeks and John felt his heartbeat speeding up. “God that was the shittiest thing in the world. I mean seriously, what gives people the right to judge others based on who they love? Total bullshit.”

 

John knew he could record this, but Lee’s sexuality wasn’t much blackmail with John’s own being the same. John nodded in response, not saying a word. He looked up and caught Lee staring at him. “You alright?”

“Yeah I just...where’d that scar come from? Must’ve been painful.”

 

John brushed against it, the memory still fresh in his mind. But he couldn’t show weakness, no that wasn’t allowed when sitting in an empty room with a man you’d shot. He took a breath, trying to speak calmly. “Just a small skirmish. Nothing too serious.” It came out a lot more broken than John planned.

 

Lee caught onto that and sighed. “You’re a shitty liar. Come on, what’s the truth?”

 

John sighed. “My dad. I told him I got a girl pregnant and he was really pissed I was back in America and she was still in London. It was for good cause though. I honestly couldn’t handle being shunned for liking guys so during a short trip in London I found Martha and the rest was history.” He stared at the beer bottle. “Nine years. I’ve had a kid for nine years and not fucking once have I ever seen her.”

 

Lee took his feet off the table and leaned forward. “Odd. You never talked about that back at the camp.”

 

John shrugged. “Didn’t want to. I knew that if Washington heard that he’d send me straight back to London. Alex and Lafayette would yell at me, they both had absent fathers. Hercules would just stop talking to me. It’s even worse that the last letter Martha sent was nine years ago. It was two days after Frances’ birth. She said what the child’s name was and how she never wanted me around. So it’s not like I’ve got a real say in anything.”

 

Lee was staring again, this time sympathetically and warmly. “Well hey, you fought in a damn war. That’s something to be proud of.”

 

John nodded and was going to reply when the door slammed open and a very angry John Adams stood there. “John Laurens. I did not hire you to sit in here and leave Maria alone out there! She’s stressed straight to hell. I had to call Abigail in and she was trying to enjoy a night alone.”

 

John groaned. “It’s not my fucking fault she married you. Besides, you said I couldn’t leave until Lee did. I haven’t left, he’s still here. I’ve done nothing wrong. So check and mate.” He was grinning smugly and could hear Lee snicker. He propped his elbow on the table and set his head on his hand, leaning close to his boss.

 

Adams glared, growing increasingly angry. He strode forward and John gripped his chair tightly, knuckles going white and eyes widening in fear. Lee stood quickly. “Hey let’s get out of here. I can tell we clearly aren’t wanted. How far away do you live?”

 

John took a deep breath and stood shakily, trying to avoid gazes with Adams. “Just around the corner. Like five minutes.” Lee nodded and took John’s hand, rushing John out of the club as best he can. John took a deep breath of the fresh outside air and suppressed a grin. He began walking and quickly realized he still had a warm grip on Lee’s hand, but he wasn’t going to let it go. It was comforting and reminded John of the days when he wasn’t afraid to truly love someone. He looked to the dark sky, missing the South Carolina stars. “Hey, thanks,” he whispered.

 

Lee lightly bumped John’s shoulder. “That man is an asshole. I wasn’t really going to try on my review of him and now I’m sure as hell not recommending he works in a high governmental position. Not only would Washington hate the man, your friend Alexander would probably shift his hate for Jefferson to Adams. Not that I wouldn’t mind those two’s constant bickering to stop for one damn moment.”

 

John laughed. He knew Alex and Jefferson never got along. It was something any lover of the political world knew. “How is Alex by the way? He and I haven’t really spoken for a while. He’s always busy.”  
Lee laughed. “He’s never busy with work. He’s done with all his work for the next ten years. Anything he’s busy with is arguing with Jefferson and causing unnecessary sexual tension between himself and his so called rival.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Mhm. I’ve seen the way they watch each other. They fight but I know they both want something more.” Lee said it so calmly, so natural. He said it like it was a normal thing to say in any conversation. John watched Lee with great interest. He hadn’t seen the man in a year and a half and somehow everything was still perfect about him. His skin was fair, his hair was shaved to the half-inch on one side and carefully thrown over on the other. His eyes were usually closed, somehow able to engage in normal activities like that. He was skinny, but not to an unhealthy level. John knew all too well how strong the man actually was, engaging in various dumb challenges with him. The most memorable was the oak tree contest.

 

John challenged Lee to a tree climbing contest one day. Loser had to admit out loud to at least four people they they liked being in the company of the winner. It was playful and surprisingly fun, taunting each other as they reached higher branches. They were laughing and it was the first time they really enjoyed the time in the war. When they reached the top, they considered it a tie. They sat on the highest branch, side by side, watching the sunset. John can’t recall how his head ended up on Lee’s shoulder or how Lee’s arm landed around his waist but it wasn’t something he questioned. The moment ended when everyone was told to head to their tents and rest. They made it to the bottom and after a gaze that lasted longer than it should, they retreated away. They avoided each other and the last time John ever spoke to Lee was to challenge him to the duel. John snapped himself from the memory and told himself it didn't matter. It was a one time situation and it was a mistake. He looked up and spotted his apartment complex. “This is me,” he muttered. Lee nodded and the two walked in, John releasing his hold on Lee’s hand and pressed the elevator button. He hit the button to take them to fifth floor. It was a silent ride, the two standing on opposite ends. The doors opened and John walked as fast as possible to his door. He looked at Lee when he approached. He stared for a moment before opening the door and watching Lee enter before shutting it in a way just soft enough it wouldn’t be considered slamming it.

 

The next half an hour was hazy, John got drinks out and the two sat on the floor by the coffee table, talking about anything that came to mind. It was mostly simple things to learn how life was treating them. John of course lied the whole time. He could feel the drinks taking effect. Sure it was practically impossible for him to get completely drunk, no matter how much he drank he could still assess situations and make proper decisions, but his vision did get blurry and words melted together. He also laughed a lot more at anything. Lee was enjoying this side of John, telling the dumbest jokes just to hear him laugh. A minute of silence passed before Lee spoke. “Was that night in the oak tree a mistake to you? You avoided me after that and then wanted me dead. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

 

John’s eyes widened and he bit his lip. He knew how he should respond, sarcastically or at the very least lie about it. For the first time, he didn’t do that. He set his drink on the coffee table and shifted onto his knees. He placed a hand on Lee’s thigh and leaned in, connecting their lips. For a second, John was concerned Lee would walk away. Leave him like everyone else. But Lee gripped John’s hips and pulled him closer, pushing back into John and deepening the kiss. It was passionate, and warm, and strange. The last time he’d kissed someone like this was Martha. It was so nice. John pulled back quickly and with a quick nod he said “bedroom” and it came out almost too desperate. Lee grinned anyway, and they quickly ran to the room, slamming the door behind them.

 

When John woke up, he realized his arms weren’t wrapped around a body. He felt scared, he knew what he did last night. He sat up and looked to the side, Lee standing there frozen in just his boxers. He blushed and looked away from John. “I was just about to leave…”

 

John sighed and shook his head. “No you’re not. I’m fucking freezing and Lafayette and Herc are busy and Alex is in D.C. and I don’t feel like having a panic attack today. So please, you can leave later but for now just stay. Please?” Lee smiled and nodded, crawling under the covers and allowing John to curl up into his chest. He lightly played with John’s curls, humming softly to himself.

 

\---

 

Lee didn’t quite know what to expect any time he walked into that apartment. Sometimes it was John singing, others it was him half asleep and complaining about how much he missed Lee. After a year of this, it was routine. The one thing he didn’t expect was to see John on the couch in tears and holding a paper tightly to his chest. An envelope lay open on the coffee table. Lee rushed over and instantly wrapped John in a hug. “Babe what’s wrong?”

 

He took a deep breath and began to speak. “M-Martha she’s...she died! Now I’ve got custody of a ten year old daughter who didn’t know I existed until three days ago! I’m not fucking ready! I don’t know how to be a goddamned dad!” Tears fell rapidly and he buried his face in Lee’s chest, hiccuping from the stress.

 

Lee sighed and rubbed gentle circles on his boyfriend’s back. “Shh it’s okay. We can deal with this together okay?” They sat like that for a while and John finally calmed down. A sudden knock was at the door. It was soft and quiet, and John quickly knew who it was. He quickly pulled his hair up and fixed his clothes, wiping away excess tears and forcing himself to look presentable. Anxiously he walked to door and opened it hesitantly, greeted by a young girl.

 

She had wavy brown hair that reached to her shoulders. It was combed back and tucked behind her ears in a way that must have taken an hour or so. Her skin was a small bit darker than John’s own. The most recognizable feature were the dark spotty freckles that ran across the bridge of her nose and her cheeks. Her eyes a light brown, almost amber. She coughed and took a breath before speaking. “Are you John Laurens? My name is Frances and I’m-”

 

“My daughter,” John cut her off. Frances nodded and quickly ran to John, wrapping him in a tight hug. John dropped to floor and returned the embrace, warmth filling the room quickly. He stood after a minute and shut the door. “I’m so happy to finally meet you.”

 

Frances nodded rapidly. “As am I! Mother didn’t tell me much except that you fought in a war and that you were really nice when you wanted to be.” Her accent wasn’t entirely British, but tones of it could be heard. She looked around the house and finally landed on Lee. “Oh hello! Who’s that!”

 

John smiled. “He’s uh...He’s my boyfriend.”

 

Frances’ eyes widened and her mouth turned up in a wide grin. “Awesome! I had a friend named Zachary! He was dating a guy named Troy and they were super cute together! I hope I get a cute boyfriend or girlfriend one day. They’ll be nice to!” She was talking rapidly and although John could pick it up, being a rapper of sorts, he could tell Lee was a bit confused. John laughed and walked Frances to the couch.

 

“So what are your interests hm? Besides being very hyperactive.” John smiled at her, proud of the child Martha had raised.

 

“Well I adore songwriting and singing. I also love piano and snakes and dogs and cats. I also love dancing. And rap, it’s the only genre of music worth listening to.” She counted on her fingers as she listed things off. Gesturing the same way John usually did.

 

“Well you’re lucky because all my friends happen to be excellent rappers. You’re gonna love them.” John wondered how his friends would react to Frances. He’d assume she’d get along with Alex and Lafayette. Herc would probably keep a distance but still remain friendly.

 

Frances was silent for a minute, lost in her thoughts. “Can I call them my uncles? Mom said you didn’t have any close family and I want an uncle.” Her eyes were wide and round. John’s heart melted at the sight.

 

“Ya know what? I think they’d love it if you called them uncle.” Frances grinned and leaned back against Lee.

 

“Dad can you keep this one? He’s pretty cool. I like your hair. What’s your name?”

 

The rapid fire words spilled out quickly and Lee let out a breathy laugh. “Charles Lee.”

 

“I’mma call you papa. You’re cool enough for that.”  
John and Lee stared at each other. They shared the same smile and nodded. This was their daughter. Not just John’s anymore. They shifted a bit so everyone could lie together on the couch and there they slept, everything John had worried about washed away. In this one moment he was fine. He was with his family.


	2. Alex

It was common knowledge Alexander didn't have much of a life outside of work. He lived thousands of miles from his friends and had no lover to come home to. It was him and his paperwork. It was rare he actually went to his house. Sleeping on the couch in his office, if he ever slept, instead. People would enter his office and could instantly tell how they should act. If Alexander was at his desk working, they should calmly disturb him for only a moment. Is he was on the floor he had time for new work and he could talk for hours about anything. If he was laying on his couch staring at the ceiling, he was having a stressful day and would snap at anyone who bothered him. Two years as the treasury secretary took a lot out of the man. None drained more energy than Thomas Jefferson. Alex knew from day one that he'd pine after Thomas. He was tall and not too muscular, just enough to look good. He had the same fire as Alex and they had no problem keeping up with each other. Of course, Alex never acted on this. He was terrified of the repercussions. Whenever he thought about it he curled into himself and had to fight not to cry. He hated it.

 

Monday’s were often the worst. Everyone was exhausted, and Thomas wore less formal clothing. Alex watched him a lot on Monday's. He moved slowly. He yawned a lot. He only could manage smaller smiles, but they were adorable in Alex’s opinion. On Monday's Alex was the opposite. He was more excited about the days to come and walked with a skip in his step. He liked it this way. He didn't like change. He froze at the desk of Charles Lee, who was packing things away. He stared at the secretary for a moment before speaking. “So Washington finally fired you huh? ‘Bout time.”

 

Lee grinned sarcastically. “Actually, I quit. I've got a boyfriend in New York and he's already going through enough shit and he really doesn't need a long distance relationship.” He was grinning and obviously trying not to laugh. Alex pushed that aside, assuming it was just a natural reaction to thinking of a lover.

 

Alex rolled his eyes at the idea of anyone liking Charles Lee. The man was incompetent and a major asshole. “Well whoever it is they better enjoy a former army general who lost a duel to someone four years younger than him.”

 

“Oh he does,” Lee said with a smirk. Alex stood staring in confusion for walking on towards the meeting room. He opened it and sighed grumpily, seeing Thomas as the only other one in the room. He took this as an opportunity to steal a seat next to the man, playing it off as just a way to annoy him.

 

Thomas’ head was buried in his arms, leaning on the table. When Alex sat down he turned his head and glared. “How the fuck are you so active all the damn time?” It wasn't quite the reaction Alex wanted, but it was something of a civil conversation starter.

 

Alex leaned back in his chair, grinning. “Because everyone else is to exhausted to disagree with me. And I also run on like forty cups of coffee anyway.” Thomas let out a breathy laugh and sat up, watching Alex in a manner that made his stomach do flips. His eyes were softer than normal, posture a bit more slouched. It was the best state Alex his seen him in for awhile. Perhaps he should always schedule their meetings together on Mondays. Thomas obviously realized he'd been staring and directed his gaze away from Alex. “How often do you sleep?” He asked calmly.

 

Alex shrugged. “When I feel really sick and dizzy. I sleep and take it easy for a while, sleep again, and I'm fine for the next few days.” Alex picked up his pen and spun it around. He knew it was clearly a sign of avoidance but at this point, Alex didn't care. He'd spent enough time shoving his feelings down, he didn't wanna waste too much energy on it anymore.

 

The others showed up one by one and the meeting started, Alex glad for once he wasn't presenting anything. He kept staring down at his blank paper, deciding he'd ask someone else for the notes later. He placed his pen on the paper and let his mind take over. He wasn't sure what he was drawing, just circles and lines and curves. He could feel eyes burning into his skin and pulled back, seeing the paper with dark eyes drawn. He turned to Thomas and noticed the eyes on the man staring at him. Alex felt his face heating up as he kept eye contact with Thomas, heart pounding in his ears. As Thomas opened his mouth the meeting was quickly ended, Alex fleeing to his office quickly. Slamming the door, he collapsed. He felt as if he couldn't breath and as if everything was falling apart. He pulled out his phone and hesitated texting John. They hadn't spoken in a year and half, would he be willing to help? Alex didn't even know where to start. He could be vague, not let onto who the person was and pretend it was hypothetical. All the same he knew John wouldn't care who the person was. 

 

He heard the door opening and his eyes widened as he saw Thomas standing there. There was a beat of silence before Thomas spoke. “What's wrong with you today? You're acting strange. Even for you.”

 

Alex finally snapped. He couldn't handle it anymore. The pressure, the loneliness, and the heartbreak. He stood and took a deep breath, eyes pointed at the floor. “Wanna know what the fuck is wrong with me? I fought a fucking war. I killed people. I watched my friends die. I was forced into a world where I can't act normal! All I have ever fucking known is death and fighting and fear. I was forced away from New York and three people that actually had the energy to be near me. I haven't seen them in two years. My girlfriend of three years left me for no reason other than she felt no goddamn spark.” He took a breath, and glanced up to stare at Thomas. “The worst part is I am so fucking deeply in love with you and it's so fucking terrifying. After two years of hiding everything I've felt with you I've decided I'm so done with it! So walk away or tease me or use this as blackmail. Just at least give me closure that you really really hate me.”

 

Thomas’ eyes were wide and breath unsteady. “I-you love me?”

 

Alex groaned and rolled his eyes. “Yes. Studies show that any crush lasting longer than four months is love. And I've known and liked you for two years. Terrible and horrible years.”

 

Thomas was silent for a time, thinking obviously and drumming his fingers on his arms. He smiled finally and walked in the office, shutting the door. “You know, you should have told me before.”

 

Alex felt his stomach drop. “Why is that exactly?”

 

Thomas smiled and walked over to Alex. He wrapped a hand around the smaller man’s waist, using the other to tilt Alex’s head up. “Because I would have loved to do this sooner.” With that he connected their lips and Alex melted, wrapping his arms around Thomas’ neck. Thomas moved his arms down to Alex’s thighs and lifted him up, carrying him over to the desk and setting him down gently. They never broke the kiss during the action but Thomas pulled away when Alex gently bit on his lower lip. Thomas glanced down to Alex’s crotch and saw the clear bulge. He grinned and nodded swiftly, sliding down Alex’s body teasing him the whole way.

 

\---

 

“Honestly these parties are useless. Why do we go to them?” Alex asked, readjusting his tie in the mirror.

 

Thomas laughed and hugged him from behind, resting his head on Alex’s. “Because I am forced to and I hate social situations. And you love me.” He tightened his grip on his boyfriend’s chest.

 

Alex sighed and leaned into Thomas’ chest. “Yeah I suppose I do.” He turned around and looked at Thomas calmly. He gave the taller a quick kiss and grinned. “Hey can we get married?”

 

Thomas smiled warmly. “I’d really like that actually.” He pressed his nose to Alex’s. “I'm assuming no rings?”

 

Alex snorted. “You know I hate jewlery. But we can get rings and I’ll wear mine on a necklace.”

 

Thomas grinned. “I love you so much.”

 

“Same here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John and Alex both had sex on the first day of the relationship stop them

**Author's Note:**

> !!!! I love all these ships so have a fluff


End file.
